" First off, Charlie would not have
made it through his freshman year of high school if it were not for his dear
friends -- Patrick and Sam. (Dash indicates there is additional info being presented. In this case, it is their names.) Whether or not they know it, they saved him. They took
him under their wing and gave him something he has always longed for -- friends. (Separating "friends" from the sentence gives it much more emphasis.) They gave him something to love and believe in and that is what
true friends are for. He is such a genuine and kindhearted character that it is
hard for me to believe that people were put off by him (even his siblings
seemed this way). (By adding parenthesis here it also emphasizes the ending portion of this sentence). One could describe Charlie as lost. He really didn’t know
where he was going or doing with his life – he was just kind of going through
the motions. (This dash sets aside the last part making the reader pay attention to it) Many things upset Charlie and make him cry. The audience got the
feeling that Charlie was constantly overwhelmed. He definitely struggles with
his anxieties on a daily basis. More
than anything, I think Charlie just wants to love (and more importantly, have that love returned). (This is an example of when using parenthesis adds additional information to the sentence) He gives so much of his love away to people whom in a way brush him
off. For example, his family. Deep down, we know that his family truly cares
about him but so often when he talks about his dad, mom, sister, or brother, it
seems as though they are always saying things like shut up, go away, go read
your book, or be quiet. And as a reader it was hard to read those chapters, or
letters, because his pain was tangible."
I know that this is a lot of dashes and parenthesis all in one paragraph. Normally, I would not use this many dashes or parenthesis in so close together. So please keep that in mind when you are reading my blog! I think I did a good job of being creative and placing them in sentences where I would never originally think to place this type of grammar.
Hi, Hayley. It was fun seeing how creative you got with your dashes and parenthesis, even if this was just a one-time situation. I particularly liked when you set of the word "friends" at the end of the sentence. That word has so many fuzzy feelings associated with it so hearing it on its own brings those out. When you're thinking about whether to use parenthesis or dashes, though, remember whether you want it to be said in a whisper (which would go in parenthesis) or with emphasis (which would be set off by dashes). For example, in the last place you use parenthesis, because you are saying something you think is more important in the parenthesis, I would actually use dashes here. In fact, I would use two dashes: "More than anything, I think Charlie just wants to love, and--more importantly--have that love returned. I noticed that whenever you used either dashes or parenthesis, it was to include something at the end of a sentence, but using it in the middle of the sentence will add even more variety to your writing. Oh, and also, don't use spaces with this dash and you should find that it becomes one single, long dash ;)
ReplyDeleteHayley,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all thank you for giving me a great idea. To explain why you're using the piece of punctuation in the parentheses. I am definitely going to steal this idea for the future. The example to open the blog doesn't seem to be the perfect use of a dash to me; admittedly not my strong suit. I feel as if there is a different piece of punctuation to use here, although I'm not sure which one is the right fit. However, the next example is perfect. The dashes really go the extra length to show how this part is emphasized. I'm curious as to why someone would use parentheses instead of dashes. I feel like they do the same thing essentially. Either way you did a good job of making sure to provide a lot of examples and use them intermittingly.
Hayley,
ReplyDeleteYou are a very insightful writer, and that in itself makes your writing interesting. I thought that you did a wonderful job practicing using dashes and parentheses. I did not see a place that you used the punctuation incorrectly, but as Corina pointed out, that you as the writer have to choose how you want your writing to be conveyed by differentiating and choosing between dashes and parenthesis. One example of how you could have used the parentheses differently is in this sentence:
"More than anything, I think Charlie just wants to love (and more importantly, have that love returned)." If you wanted to use parentheses instead of dashes, you may set your sentence up like this: More than anything, I think Charlie just wants to love, and (more importantly) have that love returned." Corina has a good point that dashes really emphasizes the "important" part of the sentence, but it is up to you as the writer.