In the next paragraph I will experiment with Pattern 1: Long sentence followed by a short one and Pattern 3: two closely related sentences joined by a semicolon. I think that both of these patterns are important, useful, and even interchangeable. I really like semicolons but sometimes I forget that they exist and that I can use them. I want to make semicolons and varying sentence structures part of my everyday writing.
"Summer is in the air. The warm wind brushing my skin as I walk to class on a bright morning. My mind wanders to the weeks after finals when I can relax and not have a care in the world; it seems like a century away. [Two closely related sentences joined by a semicolon]. Time will pass - something my mother always told me when times were tough. You'll get through it. [Long sentence followed by a short one]. That is my motivation for the last few weeks of school, to keep going. Summer has always been my favorite time of year and when finals and huge projects are what stand between me and that warm sunshine, it's hard to stay focused. I want this summer to be one for the books - getting that nice tan, drinking ice cold lemonade, and just enjoy not doing anything. It's hard not to love that time of year. How people don't like summer is beyond me; there is so much to love about it! [Two closely related sentences joined by a semicolon]. Three whole months of no school. Nothing wrong with that. I wonder if this summer I will get a job, I am one of those people that just wants one to fall into my lap and not have to look very hard for one. That's not how it works though. [Long sentence followed by a short one]. I can hear my dad now saying how college doesn't pay for itself and that I need to get a move on; I have to agree with him. [Two closely related sentences joined by a semicolon]. College is the stepping stone to the real world, if I want to make it I must start taking initiative in my finances now. However, getting a job isn't the ideal situation for a carefree summer vacation. Who knows maybe this summer will take me by surprise; I might actually enjoy having a job. [Two closely related sentences joined by a semicolon]."
This was just a passage that I randomly made up while experimenting with semicolons and sentence lengths. I thought I did a good job of using these two patterns within this passage - there are a few parts where I probably could have used a different grammar pattern, but for the sake of this assignment I went a little overboard on the semicolons! Looking forward to reading your responses.
Hayley,
ReplyDeleteI feel like you incorporated your two patterns very effectively in the little passage that you created. The long sentence followed by a short sentence is rather self-explanatory and you seemed to nail that pattern each time that you used. With the semi-colon pattern, I had to re-read your examples of it because I could not tell at first if they were working. However, after looking over them two or three times I can definitely say that you did indeed use the patterns correctly. The reasons I was having trouble telling if they were correct or not was because I could not tell if the sentences that you connected were related close enough to each other. The main one that confused me was, "Who knows maybe this summer will take me by surprise; I might actually enjoy having a job." It confused me because the first sentence does not have to do with having a job, and the second sentence doesn't have anything to relate it to a surprising summer. I feel like it might have been more appropriate to combine your last three sentences together with semi-colons to make it show as, "However, getting a job isn't the ideal situation for a carefree summer vacation; who knows, maybe this summer will take me by surprise; I might actually enjoy having a job."
Another place in your story that I feel a semi-colon would have been appropriate was in your sentence, "I wonder if this summer I will get a job, ...."
I feel that a semi-colon would work better than a comma because the two sentence you are connecting are very similar, plus when I was reading over that sentence I got tripped up by the comma and the semi-colon would make it flow a little easier in my opinion.
Wow. Nice job. Let me start by saying the first example; the one where you used a semi-colon is exactly the place to use it. It really ties things together and shows how it can be more useful than other punctuation pieces there. Also, the first time you use pattern #1 is a great usage as well. That short sentence following the long really hammered the point home you were making. It lets the reader get a pause and an understanding of what you said previously. Lastly, the last bold piece could have been either a long sentence with a short one following, or a semi-colon. Personally I think the period works better here for a more effective pause, but I suppose either is technically correct. Outstanding job.
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